There are many great resources out there, both for empaths and for exploring the energy of narcissism.
It is vital as you come to understand your own empathic nature, to understand how this gift works for you, and how you might use it in the world. It can be challenging to be part of the ‘real world,’ as you come to understand and work with your highly-sensitive nature. Crowds, institutions, cities, and anywhere there are limiting structures, can feel discordant and cause dis-ease in your energetic field.
There are also thousands of different resources on narcissism out there, and I’ve found some incredibly helpful, while others felt ‘off.’ This is where it’s really vital to tap into your own knowing, and follow what feels good to you. You are an empath, which means you can feel what is in integrity for you and what isn’t. That’s not to say the people creating the resources are not in integrity, or are in some way wrong, it just means it doesn’t work for you.
I’ve found looking at a variety of tools and places has been the most helpful. When I first left my ex, I was in such a heightened state of trauma (which I didn’t recognise for some time as such) that I found it hard to sit and read. I could read a short article or blog post, but not books. So I watched YouTube videos. Now, books feel good again.
Just take in what you can. After these relationships end, your systems are shot. If you don’t have a great attention span, or feel the need to dissociate frequently to help deal with the intensity of the emotions, take bite-sized pieces and be really kind to yourself. The information filters through, and you’ll get the a-has no matter how they’re delivered.
The following are just a few of my favourites, and I’d love to hear about those that have helped you. I will also keep adding to these as I discover more.
Resources for Empaths
These resources are specifically aimed at pointing you towards embracing and loving those aspects of you, and offering you pictures of how it might look to be using them.
Joy Holland, of Facets of Joy, is an intuitive guide and clarity facilitator who works with presence as a centre-point to all her work. She presents numerous practices in ways that make them easy to implement in daily life.
Veronica Lee, of Sacred Offerings, is a mystic and clear-seeing intuitive mentor who offers ways to acknowledge your wholeness. She sees you in your fullness, and can point you towards the gifts you may be hiding from yourself (to stay ‘safe’ in this world).
Jenna Forrest is a highly sensitive intuitive, whose YouTube channel Emerge, Grow, Prosper is populated by resources for sensitives. She has made many videos which include prayers for sensitives, and ways to engage with external energies as a highly sensitive being.
Dr. Judith Orloff is a psychiatrist and empath who has worked to introduce the understanding of intuitive wisdom from a psychiatric perspective. She has encouraged the medical community to embrace the idea that our bodies hold enormous wisdom for our own healing. She educates people to acknowledge the link between mind, body and spirit.
Resources on Narcissism
Richard Grannon, the Spartan Life Coach, has hundreds of videos covering the topic from a variety of angles. His sense of humour and anecdotes from films and books illustrate his points very clearly. He’s also very open about his experiences with narcissism and how it has affected his relating style.
Melanie Tonia Evans has been writing about narcissism for several years. She has a blog and YouTube channel which cover this dynamic from hundreds of angles. Her straight-forward style focusses on looking within to heal trauma and thrive.
I’ve recently found Meredith Miller’s YouTube channel Inner Integration. It features a number of videos on narcissism and a holistic perspective on recovery.
There’s also Dana from Thrive After Abuse. Her YouTube channel is full of videos discussing narcissism in a very concrete and concise way. She covers over 50 red flags of a narcissist and looks at the co-dependent’s point of view.
Family Tree Counseling involves a group of 9 therapists whose work covers differing aspects of narcissistic abuse, PTSD, shame and other associated topics.
I’ve also found it occasionally helpful to look at resources by narcissists themselves, such as Sam Vaknin. These offer a look into a different perspective on the intention behind the behaviour.
Brad Yates is an EFT (tapping) practitioner with hundreds of videos which walk you through different tapping exercises. He covers grief, shame, betrayal and many other topics that are connected to relating and self-worth. Tapping is a good way to integrate the physical healing, and comes in five- to ten-minute, manageable chunks.
Another way to get back into your body is through movement. One of my favourites is Qoya, which incorporates yoga, dance and meditation. Some of the exercises also incorporate trauma release sections, like shaking and dancing with your shadow. The idea is to access feelings of freedom and joyful self-expression.
Pete Walker covers Complex-PTSD in great detail, on his website and in a number of books. It’s incredibly healing to get to know this aspect of the dynamic, to understand how we respond when traumatised.
Rachel Maddox is a trauma expert and has many resources for healing and dealing with trauma.
Dr. Peter A. Levine is a pioneer in the field of somatic therapy. He offers amazing videos, resources and tools for working with trauma and shame.
Some Book Suggestions
The healing process is unique to each of us. These are not all books about how to heal, because we’re all experts in our own way. I offer these suggestions as some that have offered me hope and sustenance through my own experience. I love people’s stories, especially those that have overcome and learned to thrive. I’ve found that there’s a camaraderie in knowing I’m not alone in my experiences of shame and abuse.
I’ll keep adding to this list as I continue to read more. Please feel free to add your own suggestions.
‘Healing the Shame that Binds You’ by John Bradshaw (toxic shame, its origins, and how to heal it).
‘The Year of Magical Thinking’ by Joan Didion (a personal exploration of loss, grief and dissociation).
‘Reasons to Stay Alive’ by Matt Haig (a poignant and vulnerable look at the author’s experience with depression).