It’s been a while since I posted here, and it’s still not entirely clear what’s happening. I know there are some deep, tectonic plate-type changes going on, and I’ve felt the shifts taking place on multiple levels of my being. I’m changing, The Power of Change is changing, the way I receive and transmit messages is changing…
It’s been a few months of incredible discovery, watching as ‘circles’ have closed on past experiences, seeing the moment when the seed was planted and how it led to *this* exact moment. I’ve felt the expansion of my energetic core, longing to be free of the limitations I’ve placed on it throughout this and perhaps other lifetimes.
I thought I was meant to start in January, so I looked at starting further south, in Brindisi, and then walking to Canterbury, to avoid the harsh winter weather through the mountains. Things weren’t falling into place, and that for me is an indication that I’m on the wrong path.
At the time though, I didn’t know what would be in store through the winter months. There’s always stuff to process, and as the planetary activities have been quite active over the past little while, it was bound to bring up old stuck energies.
I was taken on a journey back through old family dynamics, ancestral wounds, and relationship patterns, to clear and transmute the toxicity I’d carried around for years. Had I been walking at this point, I might not have had the energy or motivation to continue, as there was some pretty full-on processing going on.
Ultimately, at the root of it all has been a return to self-love and acceptance that I touched on through my catharsis nine years ago. I see now that at that point I opened a portal to step into my power, and felt a reconnection with something primal and wild. And then I settled back into a familiar pattern of dysfunctional, co-dependent relating for a few years, losing sight of the wildness again along the way.
The thing is, we never settle back into the same pattern, although aspects of it may feel familiar. What I had chosen was to dive deeper into the patterns, to explore them more intimately, somewhere along the way forgetting that the suffering was a choice I’d made to point me towards further expansion. As always, discovering that truth set me free.
In the midst of this incredible journey, sometime in January, a woman contacted me from the south of France asking if I’d housesit for her in April. As we got talking, she said her house was right in the middle of the pilgrimage route I had originally wanted to walk, along the Le Puy route. How could I refuse when this opportunity was placed in my path so perfectly?
It wasn’t until the first eclipse in April that the true feelings of freedom kicked in. The very clear sense I got was that EVERYTHING is different, and yet nothing is different. I am beginning to understand this more clearly now. It may appear on the surface that nothing has changed, and yet we have been given a clean slate, an opportunity to reinvent ourselves and our lives, acting from that place of freedom.
It’s not about freedom that ignores all else and doesn’t care what happens to anyone else, although there is a certain detachment that may arise. It feels more like a return to a state of connectedness with ALL, that sense of Oneness people describe.
In that state, freedom is inherent, as is the knowledge that our own emancipation is a gift of epic proportions to the whole. We can act from a place which honours the true meaning of responsibility (i.e. the ability to respond) in whatever arises in our lives. We can detach from the structures we’ve accepted in the past as defining our reality, with the knowledge that creating from this empowered state brings joy to ALL.
There is no one or nothing to whom we owe allegiance or whom we have to ‘help.’ All beings have incarnated here with the same inherent freedom, and are moving towards it in their own unique way. The planet, the environment; all have chosen to use their energy towards the shift in consciousness, even if things appear on the surface to be the opposite.
It’s time to release ties to concepts of victim and saviour, because they are what keep us resisting the underlying truth: we are all free.
We have married ourselves to the belief that to be good, ‘responsible’ people, we have to behave in certain ways, or contribute to life in a prescribed, accepted manner. A sense of freedom comes from knowing that our contributions on a soul level far outweigh whatever fleeting legacies we leave in the physical world. The ‘smallest’ contributions we make as multidimensional, energetic beings have more power in them than any action we take here.
It, as ever, comes back to alignment. When we find ourselves detaching from the hamster wheel of 3D reality and feeling the need to heed the calls of our souls at any cost, we know we are coming home to who we truly are. It is not apathy, laziness or lack of compassion that fuels this shift, but instead a deepening sense of comfort with BEing.
The act of being and in doing so, becoming free, is the most powerful gift we can give to the world.
Now I stand at the threshold of a new beginning, only days away from the start of my walk. Where only short months ago I felt fear wondering how it would all come together, I now feel excitement and anticipation that I will go boldly without a plan into the night. I will walk in trust, knowing that as I need ‘it,’ it will be there. I’m being asked to trust the seeds I’ve planted in the past, the knowledge I’ve gained and the contributions I’ve made to support my every step. As are you.