And so it begins… again.
I’ve been tending to this blog for about three years now, and lately it has felt stagnant and heavy. I kept wondering if throwing it all out and starting over was the answer. Do I simply forget all the hard work I’ve done and walk away?
It hasn’t been an easy decision, especially when in so many ways it feels like this has been my lifeline through some intense energetic shifts and deep healing. But as the saying goes, ‘something’s gotta give.’
I’ve built this blog and my work around the process of transformation, catharsis and change.
I’ve lived the process over and over again, reinventing myself from the flames of destruction to be born anew. I can do it again.
It’s time to shift some of the old stories and write new ones. It’s time to let old dreams die and remember my capacity to create from the void of infinite abundance.
If I cling too tightly to the work I’ve done in the past as what has shaped me, I am not allowing myself to become something else. I’m not allowing this website to grow and shift and change. There’s more where that came from. So much more! I love the writing, and the freedom of knowing I can write what I want, when I want.
The process of sitting down and opening my channel to see what insights flow through inspires me every time. I feel joy expressing the words as they make their way onto the page.
I’m starting over. Again. I’ve lost count of the number of times in my life I’ve done this, and now I’m kind of a master at it. I’ve released and reinvented and integrated and shifted and moved repeatedly. I love the feel of new beginnings, even knowing they involve the death of the old. Without them, I cannot become the being I am expanding into. And isn’t life itself a constant and consistent process of starting over, each and every day?
So today I archived around 200 old blog posts from the past several years. I changed the theme in WordPress, the colour scheme and the header design. There’s more work to do; about twenty new things to offer as services are kicking around in my head. Some of the old ones are being re-worked, and some are being retired.
I’ve lived for so long in survival mode, rooted in a baseline of lack, that I lost track of how magical it is to take a leap of faith into the wide unknown and surrender everything. It wasn’t until I posted a Facebook update here last week about surrender that I knew it was time. It was finally time to admit to myself that the change that’s coming begins with me taking the first step.
Lack is constriction, and it engenders fear. I’ve had enough of that energy; I choose to thrive and expand and bask in the abundance and magic that surround me. I choose to move forward creatively in boundless trust and faith.
The great thing is, nothing is ever wasted. Whatever has come before is now a vital part of my experience which has contributed to who I am in this moment. My past has given me the opportunity to explore incredible things, places and ways of being. It has shown me what I do and don’t prefer. I’ve had opportunities to explore both my multidimensionality and my humanness. Perhaps my work has even provided others with assistance or support through their own dark times.
I’m starting over. I’m excited to see what comes next!
~ Jenny <3
Here I go Again by Whitesnake seems an appropriate song for today 🙂 (Except I’m not alone. Not ever alone.)